Your Father
When I was a teenager, my father was an idiot. He had all sorts of rules and he didn't seem overly nice. Now that I'm an adult, he's amazingly wiser and he's also much nicer. I think it has something to do with the fact that in truth – I was the idiot. The relationship, and my perspective, changed as I matured – somewhat. When my father no longer had to argue with me about rules and simple matters of right and wrong – then I could really appreciate what a good father he is.
Last week I talked about how a 'Holy God' is much better than a 'nice God'. There's a reason God chose to primarily reveal Himself as 'God the Father'. Now, when I say the word "Father", all of us have different feelings based on our own personal experience. Whether we like it or not, every one of us has been shaped significantly by our relationship, or even lack of relationship, with our own fathers. And if we misunderstand God as our Heavenly Father, because of our own experience with an earthly father – I think our understanding of God is greatly lacking.
We have a…
I. Great need for our Father
And notice the capital "F" in Father, designating our Heavenly Father. - As men, we don't usually sit around and talk about our feelings. An author wrote a book entitled "The Secrets that Men Keep". After all of the research and interviews, at the top of the list of 'secrets' he found that, "men, often without their conscious knowledge, yearn for the love and approval of their fathers."
From another article, "Looking at studies from around the world", the author stated, "In our half-century of international research, we've not found any other experience that has as strong and consistent effect on personality development as does the experience of rejection in childhood. A father's love contributes as much - and many times more - to a child's development as does a mother's love.
"Children and adults everywhere - regardless of differences in race, culture, and gender - tend to respond in exactly the same way when they perceived themselves to be rejected..." The article concluded, "One important take-home message from all this research is that fatherly love is critical to a person's development."
Whether we admit it or not - who we become, how we relate to others and our families, even how we approach our work is dramatically affected by our relationship with our fathers. And it's not just 'guys'. A woman's relationships are inexorably tied to her relationship with her father.
For all of us, we seek the affirmation, the affection, the protection, the discipline, the leadership and the unconditional acceptance that should come from our father. But the reality is, no matter how great of a father you may or may not have had – those needs cannot be fully met by any human father. Even the best dads aren't perfect. In this life, we get a taste of what…
A. A father should be
- How God designed the role of a father. I have been blessed with an earthly father who does a pretty good job of carrying out the responsibility given to him by my Heavenly father. In my dad, I've seen amazing acts of love and grace but also righteous anger when I was out of line. My dad could be gentle, but he was never a pushover.
Even as an imperfect man, my dad did a good job of representing the fatherly characteristics of God. I felt his love, his protection and his discipline all the time knowing I was his boy. But not all of us have been as lucky in the 'fatherhood lottery'.
Several years back I sat across from a man in a prison cafeteria. He was in the final months of a three year sentence. He told me that his children meant the world to him. He shared how he regretted his choices that led him there. He gave me his word that he was going to do everything in his power to try and make things right for his abandoned kids once he got out. But as far as I'm aware – 'everything in his power' basically meant a single letter, nothing more.
Let's face it, just because a man is biologically capable of producing a child does not automatically make him a good father. Let's turn our attention then to…
B. The perfect Father
Where can we satisfy this 'father hunger' we have? If our earthly fathers are imperfect, where can we look for the guidance, security and acceptance a father should provide?
In the Old Testament in the book of Hosea we see an interesting story of God's love. The nation of Israel, God's chosen people, had wandered away from Him and they were worshipping idols. The metaphor God used for the majority of the book looked at Israel as a bride who had strayed from her husband. But then God changed the metaphor to a father's love for his child. We get this glimpse of how God can be our perfect Father as alluded to in Hosea 14:3b (NIV)...
… for in you the fatherless find compassion.
Even those who have had poor experiences or even no experiences with their fathers can find complete acceptance in God. I want to expand this idea we find in scripture. I want us to see…
II. The picture developed
In the New Testament, Jesus develops this picture of God as our Father, but it really wasn't something new. The picture that God wants us to understand of the loving Father has its roots in the Old Testament. Let's go back to the book of Hosea, this time in Hosea 11:1 (NIV)...
When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son.
And notice that phrase I've emphasized. Again in Jeremiah 31:9 (NIV)...
They will come with weeping; they will pray as I bring them back. I will lead them beside streams of water on a level path where they will not stumble, because I am Israel's father, and Ephraim is my firstborn son.
And that emphasized phrase again... Even in the Old Testament where we think of God as a God of wrath and lightning and judgment, we see His tender love for His children. But Jesus really developed this facet of God more clearly for us in the New Testament. For example, when Jesus taught his disciples how to pray, from Matthew 6:9 (NIV)...
This, then, is how you should pray: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,'
There is a great deal of respect and awe, but also an understanding of that unique relationship that God wants with us as our Father. One more New Testament scripture from Ephesians 1:4-8 (NIV)...
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love (5) he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - (6) to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. (7) In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace (8) that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
When a couple conceives a child, you don't get to choose what child you get. God chose us, even as He knew all of our flaws and failings. Because of His love, He chose to 'adopt' us as His own. I've been adopted! And believe me; I see a great beauty in the adoption relationship!
How does this Biblical imagery of God as our Father help us to understand Him in a deeper way? What does it tell us about how He feels about us? Biblically, we see that God desires…
A. A loving relationship
God is not a distant, indifferent Father who has more important things to do with His time than spend it with us. God seeks us out; He desires a personal loving relationship. Let's look back to Hosea to see the image He paints, continuing in…
Hosea 11:1-3 (NIV)...
When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. (2) But the more I called Israel, the further they went from me. They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images. (3) It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them.
Can you hear the longing, the deep affection God had for Israel? Those of us who are parents know the joy when our children take their first steps. That was the joy God felt when He led His people. It's also important to understand, the relationship that God enjoyed with Israel was not because they were so wonderful that God just couldn't turn away. God chose to love them despite their failings. That's how God wants us to understand His love for us.
A man named Andrew Leitch was shopping with his elderly parents and his baby. As the family browsed, an out-of-control car smashed head-on into the store at nearly forty-five miles per hour. In a split second, the man scooped up his baby and positioned himself to take the full impact of the vehicle. His legs were crushed between the car and the store front, but he was able to hold up and protect his son through the entire experience. "I was thinking, 'I can take the hit, but there's no way my son can.'"
That's the kind of wild, reckless love that God, your Father, has for you. That's the love that chose to go to the cross to save you! That kind of love demands a response. Not only does God desire that we see Him as a loving Father, but He desires a response from us – He desires…
B. A trusting relationship
A father has to set limits on his children in order to keep them safe. "Don't put your finger in an electrical outlet, don't play with knives, don't play in the street..." Even when the child doesn't understand the danger, there has to be a level of trust and obedience. I'm amazed at how fearlessly little children can trust their fathers. For instance - if anyone ten times my size tossed me way up in the air, I don't think I'd come down giggling.
And then…, when God allows 'bad things' to happen in your life, do you still trust Him, or do you blame Him? When all of your dreams and plans are falling apart, when those you love are hurting, when there appears to be no hope – can you still trust God?
Back to the book of Hosea again, we see this image of God reminding His children of all that He has done for them and even what the consequences will be if they don't trust Him. He was telling them that His ways were best, but they refused to trust Him and accept His loving guidance.
Hosea 11:4-7 (NIV)
I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them. (5) "Will they not return to Egypt and will not Assyria rule over them because they refuse to repent? (6) Swords will flash in their cities, will destroy the bars of their gates and put an end to their plans. (7) My people are determined to turn from me. Even if they call to the Most High, he will by no means exalt them."
God asks for our trust even when we don't understand His plan. He wants us to know Him as a loving Father and recognize the benefits, the blessing we receive from trusting Him. God wants us to trust Him, and you can hear the pleading in His voice for that trust. We can also clearly see, from God's perspective, our relationship with God is…
C. A relentless relationship
God will not give up on us! In the Old Testament, we see the cycle of God's people turning from Him over and over again - and when they returned to Him, when they called on His name, He always took them back! That's the same love that God has for us! Have you ever had the thought that surely God was just tired of your failures and asking repeatedly for forgiveness?
In the verses we read from Hosea 11:4-7, God had just stated that Israel had gone too far, that "Even if they call to the Most High, he will by no means exalt them." But right after that, God says, in Hosea 11:8-9 (NIV)...
How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel? How can I treat you like Admah? How can I make you like Zeboiim? My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused. (9) I will not carry out my fierce anger, nor will I turn and devastate Ephraim. For I am God, and not man - the Holy One among you. I will not come in wrath.
God's love for you and me is relentless and it really doesn't depend on whether it makes sense or not. And fortunately it also doesn't depend on whether we deserve it.
So What?
Think about this for a moment – really think about the implications here – God loves you as His child. Right now, God is providing you with all sorts of blessings. Right now, at this very moment, God in Heaven desires to have your undivided attention. God wants you to view Him as your perfect Heavenly Father – a father who created you unique with the personality He gave you, a father who's proud of the characteristics you're developing to make you more like Jesus. God, The Creator of the Universe is very aware of you right now – and He wants you to respond to Him as His child!
We know, as demonstrated in the person of Jesus and His sacrifice, God would choose death on a cross rather than spend eternity separated from you. And this is not just an exercise in positive thinking – this is real!
Our Father loves us, whether we always feel we deserve it or not, and there's nothing you can do to change that. God asks that you trust Him and accept His love and He will pursue you your whole life. That's the God we serve.