Thou Shall Not

 On our property where we're building, we've had a lot of trees cut down - over a hundred oak and hickories. Some of them were massive, much too big for my chainsaw or skill level. After a professional cut one of the larger ones, I was shocked to see it was almost completely hollow for about 15 feet up from the base. It was eaten out by insects and disease. It was full of green leaves and looked strong on the outside - but if it hadn't been cut down, a good wind could have easily knocked it over.

If you think about most of the Ten Commandments, 'do not murder', 'do not steal', 'do not commit adultery', 'do not lie' – there's an outside action that people can see if we don't follow that command. But one of those commandments is a bit different and may be neglected. I want us to look at that one in Exodus 20:17 (NIV)...

You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

Can you see if someone is coveting something in his heart? Not really. It's a very private sin in a sense. But that doesn't mean it's not as destructive as other sins. The sin of coveting can end up leaving us just like that hollowed out tree at my property. Everything may look good on the outside, but there are big problems on the inside. One author wrote about coveting this way - "Sin lies in the heart long before it shows in the hands."

This sin of 'coveting' may not make news headlines like murder - but I think that's what perhaps makes it so dangerous. I want to examine this commandment this morning, understanding that…

I. 'Coveting' begins with resentment

What exactly is 'coveting'? It literally means to 'delight in', to 'enthusiastically' desire. 'Coveting' in itself is not actually the issue. It's the object of what you covet that can make coveting sin. If I say "I covet your prayers – I enthusiastically desire your prayers" – that's a fine thing. If I covet your car – now that's a problem.

Coveting, 'enthusiastically desiring' something that does not belong to me is the issue. We all have God given desires, but when we want something that God has allowed another person to have – that can become sin. And sin is always serious because it separates us from God. As a young man, I desired a wife – no problem there. If I 'enthusiastically desired' the wife of another man – that's a big issue.

It has to do with resentment – wanting something someone else has - because in your mind it's unfair that you don't have it. I've been told, repeatedly by my father that, as a kid, one of my favorite phrases was…

A. "It's not fair!"

And it always elicited the same response from my dad, "Life's not fair." And now I find myself repeating that to my kids. But it's true. If we're honest – life isn't fair. Jesus Himself said in Matthew 5:44-45 (NIV)...

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (45) that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

I have to pray for my enemies? That's not fair! 'Bad people' may get to enjoy the same blessings as 'good people'? Not fair! Life in this world is not fair – as we see things - and until we figure out how to leave that behind, resentment will creep into our hearts. Life in this world was never really meant to be fair – our reward, for those who follow Jesus – our reward is not in this life!

Let me ask you - is God's love fair? The answer really is "no". God's love is not fair, and we should actually be eternally thankful for that! The reality is - I do not deserve God's love because of things that I have done – because of disobeying His commands, because of sin - but He loves me anyway. That's not really fair! - But where would we be if God's love was fair and we did get what we deserve?

- The story of the prodigal son... You may remember how the younger son took his inheritance early and squandered it on wild living while his older brother stayed faithful and worked hard. After the younger son returned home to his father and was forgiven – the older brother then displayed his inner feelings.

He was ticked - he resented the fact that his brother was forgiven and now was getting all the attention. He had stayed with his father but was now letting that resentment break that relationship. Did his dad have every right to be happy his younger son was home? Yes! Did the father have every right to celebrate any way he chose? Yes! Was it fair in the eyes of the older brother? No, and his anger over the perceived injustice caused problems.

Which son do you relate to in that story? - Church growth experts share that when a long established Church tries to make changes to reach out to the lost in their community – almost always, the strongest criticism comes from the long standing members.

Why? Could it be we feel like the older brother – we resent the fact that we have been faithful but the 'faithless' are being 'catered' to – that's not fair! All of us need to be very careful that we don't have the mindset that says that somehow we deserve God's love and attention more than those outside of the Church.

I actually heard of a man in a Church board meeting – not here - who said, "We need to stop bringing in new people and just take care of the ones we have!" I respectfully disagree. I would suggest - the purpose of God's Church is to build up those we have so that we can then reach out to the lost.

God's love is not fair – He loves the ones who think they deserve it and He loves the ones who know that they don't. Coveting begins with resentment and then…

B. 'Coveting' results in division

The act of coveting something that's not ours comes between our relationships. - GROW on the banner from our purpose statement stands for Growing closer to God and each other. If we covet something that belongs to a person to whom we are supposed to get closer – it won't happen. What will happen is dissension and division in our relationships. Let's look at James 4:1-3 (NIV)...

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? (2) You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. (3) When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Coveting causes fights which break the relationships with the very people we're called to love and serve - our brothers and sisters in Christ! I've seen relationships crumble because one person is blessed in a way the other might not be. One friend gets a promotion or a new car, gets married or gets a new house - the other resents it and the relationship turns cold.

In the Church, I've seen fellow Christians clash because one resents that the other may have gotten to serve in a ministry area that they wanted… Or they resent that their brother or sister experienced success in a ministry area in which they didn't. Or maybe their friend was applauded for their service while they didn't get the recognition they thought they deserved. Division sets in because we covet a blessing that someone else received.

Satan loves it when we fight or break off relationships with each other. Then the Church loses its power to reach the lost... We can't ever forget - we're in a spiritual battle!

Not only does coveting put distance between us and others, it will also put distance between us and God. Coveting is giving first place in our lives to our desires. God is supposed to have first place! So, it's accurate to say that when we covet things, we are worshipping them by giving them first place – and when we do that, we turn those things into 'idols'. We're to worship God and use things - not the other way around.

When we covet anything that is not ours it really is putting 'it' in a higher place than God. How do we put things right? How do we develop this proper perspective on God and people and things? It's a matter of….

II. Learning to be content

Being content is not an overly popular idea in our culture. It's the American dream to work hard and get 'more stuff'. Now I'm not knocking working hard and being successful, those are things I would encourage. But I am questioning the 'why' we do what we do.

Coveting other peoples 'stuff' and money seems to be the basis for many people's opinions on tax policy. 'That person has more than me – they should pay more! Soak the rich!' Coveting seems to be driving many of the rioting and looting we see in bigger cities. 'Those stores, or people, or corporations have something I want and they can afford it, so I'll just take it.'

Being content doesn't just happen. - I've got a confession; this is an area where I've found myself struggling lately. I'm not overly content right now... 'That guy started his house two years after we did and he's already in and we're still not even close…' 'They have healthy kids and aren't going to specialized doctors – we've been struggling for over three years and still don't seem to have a handle on a solid diagnosis and treatment…' 'Our Church is still struggling after the pandemic and that one is growing…' 'It's not fair!' Ahhh… There's that phrase, and that's where 'sin' gets its foothold and separates me from God.

Do any of those things mean that God no longer loves me? No. Do I think somehow God owes me something that someone else has…? Just because I don't get the blessings I think I deserve in this life – does that mean that God isn't going to provide for me completely in the next?

We need to remember that this world is not our home! Are we only focusing on the 'here and now' and things just to fill our temporary homes and lives? And what is our relationship with the things we own? What is your attitude towards the circumstances of this life? If God never blessed me with another possession – could I be okay with that..?

Ecclesiastes 5:19-20 (NIV)

Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work - this is a gift of God. (20) He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.

Are you content; are you able to enjoy what God has given you? Or am I more focused on what I want God to give me? Learning to be content – that comes from God. And it's something we need to seek from God.

The problem of 'coveting' starts as an internal one, so how do we determine if it is a problem about which we need to seek God's help? Ask yourself…

A. Where are your thoughts?

In order to head off resentment, the fighting and division caused by coveting – we need to get to the heart of the matter, our thoughts. The initial desires that accompany coveting can't be seen by others. I don't know what's going on in your own heart – but can we each do an honest appraisal of where our thoughts are? Paul wrote…

Colossians 3:1-2 (NIV)

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. (2) Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

What we think about is what we desire, and what we desire is what we will become. When your mind wanders when you're at work, or home alone in your private moments, or during your commute, or when the preacher goes on and on… what is it that you think about? Am I consumed with the wrong things?

Psalm 37:4 (NIV)

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Are you desiring the things of God, on a regular basis - or are you preoccupied with things and stuff that will draw you away from God? And here's one more indicator for each of us of where our hearts are…

B. Can you rejoice for others?

When your friend drives up in a new car – are you happy for them, or do you point out that your car actually gets better mileage? When a friend works hard and loses weight - do you rejoice with them or do you wait for them to leave the room and then share your doubts about them really keeping off the pounds? Do you tend to view life as a competition? Can you be happy for others or do you have to 'one up' everyone…?

Romans 12:15 (NIV)

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

It's usually easier to mourn with someone who has experienced a loss than to celebrate when they receive something that you really want. We can either choose to rejoice with others for their blessings or become bitter with resentment of their blessings.

So What?

'Is 'coveting' really such a big deal? Aren't there other 'bigger' sins we should worry about?' If not checked, coveting will always lead to bigger problems and pain. "Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have." Becoming content with what God has seen fit to bless you doesn't just happen. It takes time, effort and practice. There are no shortcuts to developing contentment. It is worth it, however, when you consider the alternative.

I attended college with a guy who was an incredible scholar. After graduation, he was asked to come back and guest lecture. He married a beautiful, Godly girl and they had a healthy little girl together. Then he got hired as the preacher of a big church and it seemed his life was perfect.

But out of nowhere, it was discovered that he was having an affair with the woman who was the worship leader at the Church. It wasn't out of nowhere. The desire started secretly in his heart where no one could see it. He coveted the wife of a friend. He let that desire grow until it became an action. By allowing his thoughts to linger too long on another woman, he'd devastated his wife and daughter, the family of the woman he was 'sleeping with' and an entire congregation who trusted him.

And he probably justified himself along the way. "It's no big deal, so I think about her a lot. So we stayed late at the office together." His thoughts turned to resentment. "This woman is so talented; I deserve to have her." Thoughts then became actions...

You remember that tree I told you about at the beginning – the one that got hollowed out? Our desire can lead to sin which will hollow us out, too. People of character seek to trust God and be content with what God Has chosen to give them. "People of character seek eternal blessings, so they are willing to deal with internal issues."

I'm not suggesting all of us are in imminent danger of having an affair – but any 'little' sin can have devastating consequences. Don't ignore those inner temptations and thoughts. Share them with God and let Him help you become content and a person He can then use for His purposes.