The Truth about Prayer

 Have you heard the phrase, 'secular prayer'? Now in my mind, that's kind of a contradiction of terms - but apparently many who don't believe in a higher power still feel the need to pray.

One author I found on the subject wrote, "Somewhere in my habit of praying, I stopped praying to a particular deity... Instead, I started praying for a path." But to whom are you praying...? The author continued about her frustration with the traditional understanding of 'religious prayer', "As an adult, praying to a male authority figure felt compromising." In prayer, "I was trying to reclaim my independence, and that didn't help."

If 'secular prayer' is about independence - it's doomed to fail. Prayer is about a humble admission of complete dependence.

When something tragic happens in the news, you hear people say the victims are 'in their thoughts and prayers'. And in the past few years we're hearing a growing anger from those who reject God, who say, 'Thoughts and prayers mean nothing! We need action!' Another secular author wrote, "Prayer can provide the amazing illusion of having done something when in fact you've done absolutely nothing."

The problem is in their understanding of genuine prayer. Secular prayer is doing nothing. It is nothing, it's directed at no one, it has no power! Prayer - as designed by God - is at its very heart action; The most powerful action!

I want to look at a passage this morning where Jesus shared some wisdom with His disciples about how prayer was designed to work. It's a passage from the Sermon on the Mount. Specifically in Matthew 6:5-13 (NIV)...

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. (6) But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (7) And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

(8) Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. (9) This, then, is how you should pray: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, (10) your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. (11) Give us today our daily bread. (12) Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. (13) And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.'

Jesus was teaching His disciples...

I. How to pray

I don't consider myself an expert on prayer. But I'm certainly not looking to the world for answers on how to pray. Jesus, as The Son of God, as The One who rose from the dead - yeah, I'll listen to Him on prayer. I want to look at that first section again more closely from Matthew 6:5-6 (NIV)...

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. (6) But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

First of all, there is the assumption that you will be praying. You can't learn much about prayer if you're not actively doing it. But notice here, is this passage saying that God doesn't answer some prayers? 'They have received their reward in full...' Certainly appears so... Those who were 'praying for show' evidently 'received their reward' in the attention they got from those around them - it appears that Jesus was saying that God would not reward their prayers; their prayers would go unanswered. That's a pretty strong indictment.

I think it has everything to do with where they were directing their prayers. In vs. six, Jesus instructs his followers "go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen." The suggestion is that those who pray for show are really not praying to God at all, but praying to men; to be seen by them. Those prayers will go unanswered.

And there is a modern day equivalent - people who have a 'public religion' without any private convictions. There are many who claim to be Christian, they may wear a cross, show up in a Church service every Sunday, they have all the right 'outward' signs of being a Christian, they are 'against' all the right things - they publicly and readily condemn sin in our culture... And those things are not necessarily bad in and of themselves... But everyone needs to ask themselves the same questions - to whom are you demonstrating your faith - to men or to God?

I recently watched several friends from Bible College argue on Facebook about coaches and athletes praying publicly before or after a sporting event. One quoted this passage and said, 'Jesus said to pray in private!' Another stated that Jesus wasn't saying you couldn't pray publicly. The first one responded, 'But they're just doing it so others will look at them as spiritual people!' The other replied, 'How do you know their motives?' "Because they're doing it publicly in front of cameras!' - So Jesus is teaching here that we should never publicly display our personal faith...? I don't think so...

Jesus wasn't necessarily condemning public prayer, but prayer done only in public for show. To those bothered by people's public display of faith - I suggest, perhaps, you worry about you and let Jesus worry about their motivations. We all need to ask - when it comes to prayer...

A. What's your motivation?

We could focus on all the outward things here, the public things - but Jesus refocused people on the 'inner' issue of prayer.

I've heard many people, even Christians say, "I'm not that good at praying. I don't know what to say." What they most likely mean is they don't feel that they sound like those who pray 'up front on a Sunday morning' or others who lead in group prayer. But there's a difference between 'corporate prayer' and private prayer.

In your private prayer, you don't have to have the right words. Sometimes the best prayers are the simplest, perhaps even awkward prayers. But are they sincere, honest, from the heart, and directed to God? What's the motivation behind your prayers - to impress people, to try to impress God or simply to communicate with God? Remember what happens to prayers that are only to impress others?

Prayer is not just meditation for relaxation or to boost your well being. Prayer is not reciting the 'proper spiritual words' so that God will hear and acknowledge you and do your bidding...

B. Prayer is a relationship

Prayer is about a relationship, specifically between you and an infallible, all knowing, loving, all powerful God - your Creator! I'm aware that can be a bit intimidating - but as the relationship grows, that fear can grow into trust...

The problem with 'secular' prayer - its focus is more on you alone, apart from your Creator. When you're praying without God - who are you praying in relationship with...? The Universe...? One secular PhD holder noticed this flaw, and suggested that perhaps there did indeed need to be a relationship in prayer. But for those uncomfortable with God as our Authority, they needed to view prayer differently. She suggested, "Instead of being submissive, we can envision an interactive relationship in which we nurture our Higher Power as much as it nurtures us..."

No! Prayer is not just about making you feel strong or validated! Our Father doesn't need us - we need Him! Prayer is about learning utter reliance on God!

One author poetically explained it this way, "A prayer is a transference of power from the human sphere to the divine. It is a belief in the ephemeral, a moment of suspended animation. It is looking elsewhere for answers, for control, for sovereignty. Prayer is a vital spiritual experience - a yielding of one's power to another - a relaxing of tension, of everything this-worldly."

"Prayer is not about getting our will done in Heaven. It's about getting God's will done on earth." A big part of prayer, and then living out our faith is...

II. Giving up control

Let's look again at the second part of that passage from Jesus' teaching...

Matthew 6:7-13 (NIV)

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. (8) Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. (9) This, then, is how you should pray: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, (10) your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

(11) Give us today our daily bread. (12) Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. (13) And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.'

When Jesus talks about not babbling or using many words, does He mean to never pray for the same thing over and over? We do see that Jesus himself prayed the same prayer three times in the Garden of Gethsemane right before He was led off to be crucified.

Matthew 26:44 (NIV)

So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

Did God not hear Jesus the first time? Didn't God already know what Jesus' prayer was? What we're talking about here is - Jesus wasn't babbling empty spiritual phrases or platitudes repeatedly out of some habitual faith. He was pouring out His heart to His Father over and over and over!

When you are struggling and hurting and going to God in prayer - is it something you mention in passing, and then drop it...? Some of you have lost a spouse... When you were praying, did you ask God to spare your loved one - did you only ask once...? As a parent - when you are praying for healing for your child - do you mention it once, then figure - 'Well, didn't hear anything yet - I'll just drop it - I'm sure God already knows...' - Or, are you on your knees day and night crying out to God because He is your only hope...?

It's about the relationship between you and God! And that's an ongoing relationship. I think that we're allowed to go to God as many times as we want; to plead with Him - understanding that we are still giving up control to Him... Jesus talks about relying on our Heavenly Father for our daily bread - that which sustains us. It's a reminder about giving up control and displays our utter dependence on God...

A. In all things

If you read the Old Testament, King David prayed some pretty specific prayers about things he wanted God to do. Sometimes things he wanted God to do to his enemies - things that weren't always gracious and loving. Were his prayers always completely unselfish in nature? I don't know, but it does certainly appear that his prayers were always honest. Prayer isn't about the perfect words or perfect feelings or perfect emotions - but it's about a relationship, right? Paul wrote in Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (7) And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

'Should I bother God with the little things in my life?' "In everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Of course we understand that not all things in our life are as vitally important or urgent, and our prayers should reflect that - but in a relationship, big things and little things matter as we grow in our trust.

But we also need to acknowledge, as Jesus expressed - in all things - to have a desire for God's will to be done. Do you trust God to answer your prayers in the best way, or do you try to convince Him that your way is best? We are supposed to make our requests to God, but we also need to be...

B. Praying without instructions

Perhaps when Jesus was talking about people praying with many words, it might have been that they simply didn't trust God to answer their prayers correctly. Do we pray to God with 'many words'? Do we give God instructions on how to answer our prayers or do we leave it up to Him? That's hard...

Do we follow Jesus' example and simply say, "Give us our daily bread" or do we then explain to God that if He would just provide us with a better job or a raise that we could afford that bread a little easier? I know I'm guilty of taking my requests to Him and then explaining how, if He would just answer the way I wanted that things would work out perfectly.

I'm learning to pray without instructions. God can do His job just fine without my help. Prayer is me submitting my will to God's so that in agreeing with Him, He can use me.

I read something a while back where an author referred to the "Lord's Prayer" as an 'emptying' prayer. His point was that everything about the Lord's Prayer is about choosing to give up your will and take up God's will. It is about choosing to empty yourself and relying on God. It acknowledges God's will as first and foremost. It recognizes God as the source of our sustenance. It identifies God as the one who can forgive our sins and as our only hope of salvation. It's all about trust.

Do you trust God? Are you willing to accept that His plans are better than yours? Does your prayer life reflect that you trust God? Are you ready to let go?

So What?

Oswald Chambers wrote, "We tend to use prayer as a last resort, but God wants it to be our first line of defense. We pray when there's nothing else we can do, but God wants us to pray before we do anything at all. Most of us would prefer, however, to spend our time doing something that will get immediate results. We don't want to wait for God to resolve matters in His good time because His idea of 'good time' is seldom in sync with ours."

Can I still trust God when I don't agree with His time table...? Do I only trust God when His ways make complete sense to me? And if it all makes sense - where's my faith? Do we trust our Father to do what's best for us no matter the circumstances? Are we willing to pray His will be done, to praise Him even through the pain of this life?

This week, I want you to reflect on your prayer life, on your relationship with God. Jesus said to 'pick up your cross daily'. Each day this week, focus on giving over your will to God's. Do you trust Him? Are you willing to let go? Are you ready to stop telling Him how to do His job and to trust that God's ways are best?

And here's my selfish prayer... Pray that I can do that, too...