The Path to Peace
Back in June of 2020, a man named Danyal Hussein stabbed two women to death in North London. He made the bizarre claim that he had made a pact with a demon. Hussein pledged to kill six women in six months in return for winning a lottery jackpot and signed a contract using his own blood.
Last week, the trial was held in which Hussein was found guilty of the murder of Bibaa Henry, age 46, and Nicole Smallman, age 27. Mina Smallman is the mother of both of the slain women. After the trial, she insisted this tragedy would not destroy her. Mrs. Smallman said she had forgiven her daughters' murderer. She added, "When we hold hatred for someone, it is not only them that is held captive, it is you. Because your thoughts become consumed by revenge and what you'd like to do to them. I refuse to give him that power."
Mrs. Smallman also claimed Hussein tried to intimidate her during his trial. She said, "He looked me straight in my eyes and then he did this sinister little smile. So I smiled back and I winked at him."
I don't know how you have the strength to do something like that after experiencing such a loss. How can you forgive someone who did something like that? My only clue as to 'how'— in the story, Mina Smallman, in both pictures, had a large cross around her neck. I don't know much about Mrs. Smallman, but I do know that she is a woman of great faith.
When we look in the Bible, there is something almost unimaginable about Jesus' command to...
I. Love your enemies
Just to clarify, in the article, Mrs. Smallman did want justice, and this man does deserve to be punished to the fullest extent of the law— but she is giving up her hatred for a man who took away her daughters. Her pain is very real— but she is allowing God to be the judge, and giving over her bitterness to God. That's the beginning of showing love to your enemies. And that's an amazing thing.
Jesus said, in Matthew 5:43-48 (NIV)...
You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' (44) But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (45) that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
(46) If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? (47) And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? (48) Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Jesus actually called us to love our enemies— to actually be perfect. Jesus set the bar pretty high in how we are to treat others. When Jesus calls us to 'love our enemies', when He calls us to be perfect, He's calling us to the impossible. And it is impossible— without a source of love greater than our own. In order to be able to obey such an outrageous command— we can't do it without Jesus. And in order for you to learn to love your enemies, you may need to first learn to...
A. Forgive your enemies
That forgiveness helps build a bridge, both to your enemy and even from you to God. Let's look at this passage from Luke 11:1-4 (NIV)...
One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples." (2) He said to them, "When you pray, say: 'Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. (3) Give us each day our daily bread. (4) Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.'
In Jesus' prayer, He's teaching His disciples they should ask for forgiveness of their sins, assuming that they were forgiving others. But in this assumption, He's also challenging them. He's teaching them that if they expect a relationship with God through forgiveness, they need to be building bridges by forgiving those who sin against them.
One preacher put it this way, "Have you ever thought about the fact that if God doesn't forgive the sins of your enemies, that He might not forgive yours? The sins of your life and mine are no less capable of separating us from our Heavenly Father than those of our enemies. None of us are any better than the rest of us when it comes to sin. In fact, we ought to pray for the forgiveness of our enemies so that, together, we can stand before God justified, with all of our sins forgiven. Our task is to expand the company of the redeemed, not to restrict it." (That preacher happens to be my dad, David Buche. Thanks, Dad!)
When people hurt us, when people sin against us, we — I — have a tendency to hold a grudge; we might think, 'they don't deserve forgiveness!" And in many cases, that's probably correct. They probably don't deserve forgiveness. But that's not the point— Jesus didn't say to only forgive those who deserve it. The question that hits closer to home is...
B. Do we deserve forgiveness?
As much as we don't want to admit it — 'No' — we don't deserve forgiveness. No one is 'good enough' to merit God's favor— no one can earn God's forgiveness. The only way anyone ever achieves forgiveness is through the grace of God. The only way that you, me AND our enemies can come into the presence of God is through the grace of God found only in Jesus Christ.
And again, to quote that one preacher, (yet again, David Buche), "If God cannot or will not forgive the sins of repentant sinners, no matter how grievous the sin, then we need to be concerned with regard to having our own sins forgiven. The fact that God can forgive the sins of those who hurt us should bring us comfort in that we can be reassured that He can also forgive our sins." That guy keeps getting smarter...
You're right— my enemies don't deserve forgiveness— and neither do I. But God gives it anyway...
Romans 5:8-10 (NIV)
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (9) Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! (10) For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!
We don't deserve God's forgiveness and we didn't deserve it when Jesus died on the cross for our sins— but because of God's incredible love, through Jesus, He gives us forgiveness rather than condemnation— which is what we do deserve. You see, while God loves us...
II. God hates sin
We know the Bible says that God is love, but it also talks about the fact that God does 'hate', too. In scripture, God gets righteously angry! God 'hates'. That's not something we like to think about— the angry attributes of God. But in Proverbs, even through the use of poetic language, you can't deny that God hates sin.
Proverbs 6:16-19 (NIV)
There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: (17) haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, (18) a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, (19) a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
A while back there was an AP news story that resurfaced recently, "Hymn writers won't change lyric". And this article is about a song we sang just last week. "The popular hymn In Christ Alone won't appear in (one denominational) hymnal because hymn writers refused to change the lyrics. The chairman for the Committee on Congregational Songs wrote that some committee members objected to the line that says, "On that cross as Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied."
She says they asked if the lyric could be changed to say "the love of God was magnified." The hymn writers wouldn't allow it. They said they wrote In Christ Alone to tell "the whole gospel." Most committee members didn't want the new hymnal to suggest that Jesus' death on the cross was an atoning sacrifice that was needed "to assuage God's anger" over sin.
Jesus' death on a cross was to assuage God's wrath! God hates sin! And because God both hates sin AND loves His creation, God came in the flesh to take our punishment, the punishment for sin that we deserve!
God's anger is real! God hates sin - not because He's mean, but He hates sin because of what it does to His creation, to His children. For instance, in the book of Malachi, it says that God hates divorce. It doesn't say that He hates people who divorce, especially those who are genuinely the victims of divorce. But God hates divorce because of what it does to people, to children, to families. God hates divorce because it goes against His perfect plan for marriage and because of the pain it causes.
And we have clearly seen that God can bring about healing and restoration after a divorce. God specializes in bringing good out of bad, healing out of pain— but scripture does say that God hates divorce and the pain that it causes. And even as gently as I can talk about sin — any sin — I know that's not popular and certainly won't gain us any followers on Facebook with talk like this.
But God hates sin in my life and he hates it in yours. God gets angry over sin. We need to ask...
A. Do we?
Sure we do! I just mentioned that last week, too— it's easy! We get angry about the sin we see all around us— in other people's lives. We get angry about lying, and murder and theft and adultery and fornication and pornography and drunkenness and abortion and bigotry and injustice. We get angry about the sin in all those 'bad people's' lives— but what about the sin in our own lives? And do we get angry enough to stop it? To repent? To change?
Many do! We've seen changed lives here! Many of us are not the same people we were years ago— all thanks be to God!! Many see the sin in their lives and repent— others don't.
We can't condemn others while ignoring our own sin. Oh, we rationalize, my sins may fall into different categories than 'those people.' I'm not a murderer. But sin is sin, and my sin requires just as much grace as anyone else's sin.
I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "hate the sin, but love the sinner"...? Some people don't like that. They say, 'you can't separate the sin from the sinner. When you condemn the sin you are also condemning the sinner.' I disagree. We separate our feelings about sin and the 'sinner' all the time. Think about it— I love myself, but I hate my sin. I'm a sinner just like everyone else, but I treat myself pretty good.
I hate it when I lose my temper with my kids. I hate it when I'm selfish. I hate the sin in my life, but I still manage to feed myself everyday. I still manage to provide myself with all my basic daily needs and then some. I love the sinner but I hate the sin. And if I can do all that for myself— I need to learn to show love to all those other 'sinners' who don't deserve it either.
I shared this next passage just last week, but I'm hitting again because it is so vital to our understanding...
Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV)
Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" (37) Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' (38) This is the first and greatest commandment. (39) And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' (40) All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
If I can forgive myself for my sin and still act loving toward myself, maybe I can learn to forgive my neighbor and even my enemy. And in order for God to show us this perspective, perhaps we need to ask God to...
B. Reveal sin?
To clearly reveal our sin? I like what David wrote in Psalms 19:12-13 (NIV)...
Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. (13) Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.
David makes a distinction between the sin he clearly sees in himself and the sins he doesn't even see, because he knows he doesn't deserve God's grace. It's that kind of humility that helps us learn to forgive, to even love our enemies.
When we understand the depth of God's love for us, how much He loves us and has forgiven us— when we truly understand the cost of our forgiveness, the cost of God's grace to us— maybe then we can begin to become a blessing to our enemies, those who have hurt us. And in building those bridges, hopefully we can do our part in bringing another of God's lost sheep home.
So What?
I'm not going to stand up here and pretend this is easy. Learning to love your enemies is a radical departure from what our own feelings scream inside us. This hard teaching of Jesus— to forgive everyone, to forgive those who persecute you, those who accidentally hurt you, those who intentionally hurt you— it's hard.
But if we are going to call ourselves followers of Jesus, we have to learn to do incredibly hard things. As Jesus was dying on the cross, He forgave those who had just nailed Him there. You can't get any more radical than that.
There are some people who have done really bad things to us. They have lied about us, they've stolen from us, they've betrayed our trust, they've truly hurt us. We are called to forgive them.
There are others who oppose Christianity and Christian values. They mock us, they call us bigoted and closed minded and homophobes and haters all because we take a stand for Godly values as taught in the Bible. And whether those who oppose Christianity understand it or not, Jesus died on a cross for them, too. Do I have any right not to forgive them if Jesus is willing to forgive them?
There are some who are your brother or sister in Christ who have done or will do bad things to you— some unintentionally, some very intentionally. Again, we are called to forgive.
You can't possibly obey a command like that without spending time with God in prayer and in His Word and in fellowship learning from other Christians. I'm challenging you today— forgive someone who hurt you, not because they deserve it, but because they need your forgiveness— you need to forgive them in order to have a right relationship with Jesus.
If you can't forgive your friends and family, if you can't learn to forgive even your enemies, you'll never be able to love the way that Jesus wants you to love. And if you don't love people like Jesus does, you won't make it a priority to GO share the Good News of Jesus with them. Pray for your enemies and go show them the genuine love of Jesus!