Our Response to Trials
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You know those seasons in life where everything is going great and things just seem to fall into place? This is probably not one of those seasons for many people. This past year and a half just continues to bring unique challenges and frustrations. The word 'unprecedented' has been used so much it's kind of lost its effect. We're still struggling to get back on our feet and I think we've just about given up on getting 'back to normal' anytime soon.
Has anyone else's prayer life looked a bit different through all of this? I saw this picture on Facebook recently [slide: Jumbled prayer]. Have you ever felt like that, you start praying and the words just kind of 'blah!' out of you? Or sometimes they don't even come at all; you just don't know what to pray...?
I read a quote recently to which I could relate - "I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for that day." That was written by Abraham Lincoln when he was seeking God's guidance to keep our nation from crumbling.
Are you praying? Every Sunday we have a prayer list in our bulletin, we ask for prayer requests, we send out 'phone tree messages' asking for prayers - we pray multiple times in our service. We ask for God's blessings, we give praises, we ask for healing and strength and wisdom. But what do our individual lives reveal about...
I. Our belief in prayer
Christians pray - that should be a given. Now, of course, the Bible doesn't say you have to pray before every meal - but it's a tradition that we follow in our house as we train our kids. Being grateful in prayer is important and we want our kids to understand that. And I'd like to start us out this morning by looking to the Bible for more counsel on the subject. I want to look at a passage where Jesus describes how 'not to pray' from Matthew 6:5-8 (NIV)...
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. (6) But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
(7) And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. (8) Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
First, there is the assumption that you will pray. Notice that Jesus says, 'when' you pray, twice - so we're starting at a point that says, 'of course you'll pray - believers pray'. And then Jesus goes on to contrast a poor prayer life from a good one. Your prayers are not to show others how religious you are, but to connect you to the Father. And then Jesus says 'you will be rewarded' - does 'reward' mean that God will then 'grant your wish'?
Based on what we see in the entirety of scripture and even in our own lives - I don't think it always works that way. And more on that in a bit - but it also says that God already knows what we need before we ask - so why do we have to bother praying, then...? And I hope to give a clearer answer on that, too.
You see, my next point is accurate - but only if understood correctly...
A. Prayer works **
And I specifically put those asterisks there... What I mean is, prayer does work - and many of us have said that phrase, but I need to qualify that a bit. For instance, we can find many examples in scripture where prayer clearly works as is 'generally understood' - someone makes a request to God in prayer and He answers them in the affirmative; someone prays for healing and God immediately grants it. That's even how non-believers understand the process to work.
Years ago, I was called to St. Anthony's by a friend of mine who was 'brand new in the faith'. His grand-daughter had been rushed to the hospital with breathing difficulty. When I showed up, he was in tears and the nurses were franticly working to help this little girl. Her breathing was extremely labored and raspy; she sounded awful. The nurses were professional, but there was an air of panic rising.
We were asked to step out into the hall and I wasn't exactly sure what to pray. So I asked God to perform a miracle and to heal his grand-daughter right then and there - to fix her breathing. As soon as we were done, his daughter came out of the room crying. She wasn't a believer, but she watched her daughter as we prayed and she said as soon as I said "Amen" - the girl's breathing instantly cleared.
Now that's the only time I've ever had an experience like that. Many times I have prayed for people to be healed. That is the only time where healing occurred so quickly and dramatically. We know that 'prayer works'. ...But - what about when people aren't instantly healed? What about when bad things happen or nothing appears to happen? Does that mean that prayer doesn't really work, ...or that prayer only works some of the time...?
...And in that same vein - when God does answer our prayers quickly and in the way that we expect, we often say...
B. God is good
But again, when God doesn't respond the way we want - is God no longer good? King David, towards the end of His life, even after all the betrayal and loss and pain he had experienced in his own family - he wrote, in Psalm 145:9 (NIV)...
The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.
We need to understand that God is good - regardless of circumstances. If we can't accept that - then God appears to be unreliable, impulsive; He changes with the wind... God is good in all things and at all times. God is good when He chooses to heal and even when He allows suffering. God is good when things are going great and even when mankind is struggling under a worldwide pandemic.
For whatever reason - God allows bad things to happen, many times to good people. And how can we reconcile that truth with the fact that God is good, despite circumstances? I don't fully understand why God does what He does - He hasn't chosen to share all of those details with me. But the problem here isn't with God. The problem is in me; in my understanding, or lack of understanding of God's greater plans.
When God answers our prayers with healing - God is good. When God appears to remain silent - God is good. And the only way we can hope to gain any insight is to more clearly understand...
II. The purpose of prayer
I don't have all the answers - but I do know this. We are supposed to ask God for healing, and - this is key to understanding - genuine, sincere prayer is not about getting our will done in Heaven, it is about getting God's will done on earth! - Prayer is not about getting our will done in Heaven, it is about getting God's will done on earth!
Why did God choose to heal my friend's grand-daughter in such a dramatic fashion? Was it just because I asked and He really likes me...? Probably not. Perhaps it was for the benefit of her "non-believing" mother? Perhaps it was to help solidify my friend's new found faith. I may never know the "why" of what God did that day, but I know He did it.
I've heard it said that, "Prayer is not a button to be pushed; it's a relationship to be pursued." Praying is not about treating God like a vending machine and getting upset when I get the wrong bag of chips. I asked before, "If God already knows what we need before we ask - why do we have to bother praying?" Since prayer is about our relationship with God - perhaps the act of us actively humbling ourselves before God, the act of us relying on God for healing, for strength, for guidance, for wisdom, for grace - perhaps that act of prayer is more important than whether or not I specifically get exactly what I pray for...?
I want to go back and continue the passage from Matthew where Jesus was teaching His disciples about prayer with what we call 'The Lord's prayer'...
Matthew 6:9-13 (NIV)
This, then, is how you should pray: "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, (10) your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. (11) Give us today our daily bread. (12) Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. (13) And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one."
Prayer is not about me making demands of God to do what I think is best. Yes - I can, and should ask God for anything I need - but ultimately, God will answer in the way that best fits His plan to bring us all into a relationship with Jesus and to make us all more like Jesus. God will always answer our prayers in our best interests in light of eternity.
When I pray - do I give God instructions on how to answer my prayers, or do I leave it up to Him? Do we follow Jesus' example and simply say, "Give us our daily bread" or do we then explain to God that if He would provide us with a better job or a raise that we could then afford that bread a little easier? I know I'm guilty of taking my requests to Him and then explaining how, if He would just answer the way I wanted, that things would then work out so much better.
I'm learning to pray without instructions. God can do His job just fine without my help. Prayer is about me submitting my will to God's will so that in agreeing with Him, He can use me for His purposes. When we pray, the purpose of our prayers has to be about...
A. God's will
And I do know this - when our prayers are directly aligned with God's will - powerful things happen. After Jesus did a simple miracle of withering a fig tree, He told His disciples in Matthew 21:21-22 (NIV)...
Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. (22) If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
And there are some who would suggest that if we only had more faith, if we only believed harder - then God would go ahead and do exactly what this passage suggests. And if it was God's will for a mountain to be thrown into the sea - it would happen. But I think the 'disconnect' is that we aren't always most concerned in prayer with what God wants but with what we want.
But why wouldn't God want 'so and so' to be healed? Why wouldn't it be God's will that I'm comfortable and healthy and have plenty of money? Why wouldn't God want world peace and an end to cancer? But God doesn't ask me to fully understand - He asks me to be faithful; I'm told to pray...
One author I found referred to the "Lord's Prayer" as an 'emptying prayer'. His point was that everything about the Lord's Prayer is about choosing to give up your will and taking up God's will. It's all about me choosing to empty myself and relying on God. It acknowledges God's will as first and foremost. It recognizes God as The source of any blessing. It identifies God as The One who can forgive our sins and as our only hope of salvation. It's all about trust.
The more I learn about the purpose of prayer, the more I learn it's about...
B. Changing me
Recently I was complaining to Dave Wenger about all of the 'crazy' in my life with all the kid's various medical issues, and the lack of progress on our house, and on and on. And he responded, "But I bet your prayer time has grown." And didn't really like that response, partly because his focus was right. I was struggling and I wanted to complain - but he put the focus back where it needed to be.
I've shared this before about author C.S. Lewis, but it's so profound. He married later in life, but said that life with his wife was better than he ever could have imagined. However, shortly after they were married - his wife was diagnosed with cancer. He prayed fervently to God for her healing, but after a painful battle, his wife passed away.
Reflecting on his prayers, his 'wrestling matches with God', he said, "I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping." And what he ultimately found about his prayers, those answered and those seemingly ignored, he said, "Prayer doesn't change God. It changes me."
Here was a man, who through a tested faith, aligned his will with God's - and look at the influence he has had for God's kingdom. I've had those 'wrestling matches with God' where I've struggled, I've begged God for healing for my kids or Church members who were hurting. But in light of C.S. Lewis' insight - and Dave Wenger's - am I most concerned with changing God or in allowing Him to change me? Many times - I don't necessarily want to change. I want to pray and convince God to change His mind.
And that's when I need to remember David's prayer from Psalm 51:10 (NIV)...
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
On my own, without God's Spirit in me - my prayers will be all about me and what I want. And I'll possibly be frustrated and disappointed when God doesn't do exactly what I want when I want it. But when I submit myself to God's Spirit - my prayers will begin to adopt a higher perspective. I'll start to see God's long term plan for me and others, and maybe even see prayer as a privilege rather than something to turn to only when I need something.
So What?
I don't want to dismiss the pain of seemingly unanswered prayer, or answers than only come after a very long time - or even when God says, 'no'. That pain is very real. But just because God appears silent doesn't mean that God is absent. I promise you He is right there with us in our suffering.
I heard a missionary once reflect on the differences he observed between the prayers of American believers vs. other countries. He noted that our prayers seemed to be more focused on requesting healing but in other nations the prayers were more focused on asking for strength to endure sickness and trials and struggles. It was an interesting insight.
Here's the question we need to answer - are we still willing to follow God even if He doesn't answer our prayers the way we want or on our time table? That's easy to ask when things are going relatively good - but how deep is my faith in the hard times?
God does want to bless us! God does want to heal us! And ultimately that's what Heaven is all about! In this life, we will have pain, we will have struggles and we will age and our health will fail and we will die. That's the way it's been for believers since Jesus' death - but since His resurrection, we have hope beyond this life!
Don't stop praying. Take your burdens to God. Give Him your hurts and hopes, your pain and your needs. And know - God is there. God does hear us. God is working, right now, even in the midst of bad circumstances to bring about amazingly good things for His children. Those who don't know Jesus need to see our faith stand in good times and bad times. And that will only happen if we spend more time in prayer allowing God to change us for His purposes.