Learning to Show Patience
Off and on over the last few weeks, we've been looking at the "Fruit of the Spirit", the traits we're to develop as we mature as followers of Jesus. We're jumping back to it again, so let's look at that main passage from Galatians 5:22-25 (NIV)...
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (23) gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (24) Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. (25) Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
This morning we're going to focus on one of my 'favorite' traits, patience. Before I had children, I considered myself a patient man – before I had children. Maybe if we'd had kids when I was younger I would have been forced to learn patience earlier in my adult life. But it appears God is still teaching me...
It was August of 2018 when Erin and I purchased a piece of land on which to build a new home for our expanding family. After a couple of heart attacks, another baby, a pandemic, losing our contractor, and other various issues - we are hoping to schedule an occupancy inspection this week. No guarantees we'll pass, but we're getting closer. Maybe we can 'move in' in a few months...? I'm not overly patient yet - but maybe I'm learning...
You see, having patience is actually easy - if you only have to practice it for a little while. What about when you have to wait long term or when obstacles come while you're waiting?
To understand the Biblical concept of patience a little better, I looked at several different versions of the Bible. Both the American Standard Version and the King James Version translate the word 'patience' we see in Galatians in the NIV as the word 'longsuffering'.
Got to be honest with you, 'patience' sounds a lot more pleasant than 'longsuffering'. However, if we really want to understand what we're being called to do – we can't leave out the difficult parts of 'patience'. The concept behind the word communicates the idea of fortitude, forbearance, suffering without losing our temper. Biblically speaking, the idea of patience is directly tied to suffering.
One definition of patience that I like is, "Patience is a calm endurance based on the certain knowledge that God is in control." That definition puts its faith not in my ability to persevere, but in God's strength. I know, on my own, patience will be a struggle. But when I rely on God – patience is actually possible.
The first area of patience that I'd like to look at is…
I. Patience with each other
When dealing with some of our fellow human beings, sometimes it's easy to see why the word patience can also be translated as 'longsuffering' – isn't it? I have a theory that in some people, the mere act of sitting in the driver's seat of a car somehow physically 'short circuits' our ability to be patient. I've never seen a lack of patience displayed more frequently than in traffic. Do we think that somehow we're exempt from that particular characteristic while behind the wheel?
Paul writes in Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV)...
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (3) Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Are we only supposed to 'bear with one another' only on Sunday, or does that apply to the rest of the week as well? I'm pretty sure that, if I'm reading this right – if I am not being patient with others, if I'm not working towards unity - that shows a lack of humility. A lack of humility is arrogance, isn't it? Paul also wrote, in Romans 15:5-7 (NIV)...
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, (6) so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. (7) Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
The King James and the literal translation say, in that first verse, "patience" and "patient endurance". Once again, if I understand correctly, if I am not being patient with others – am I taking praise and glory away from God, by my actions? That's a rather strong indictment. ...Am I the only one being convicted by these passages?
Now I know that not everyone here struggles with patience like some of us do. For those of you to whom this message doesn't apply – I'd like to ask you to demonstrate your patience by waiting quietly until we're done.
To be clear, I really don't want us to just feel guilty about our lack of patience; guilt is a poor motivator in the long term. God wants us to develop patience in our lives for His glory, but also…
A. For our benefit
It seems all of the 'fruit of the Spirit' are not just a list to check off but are actually for our benefit! Having patience can make life a whole lot easier. Not only does it make us easier for others to deal with, but being patient is a lot more enjoyable than the alternative. Do you want to be constantly at odds with others? Do you want to be stressed out all the time by your impatience with others? It says this in Proverbs 15:18 (NIV)...
A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.
We need to develop patience in our lives to bring glory to God, but also – if we don't develop patience, we're not going to be fully able to enjoy the blessings that God has given us in our lives. How many times has our impatience with others ruined an otherwise perfectly good day? Learning to be patient is hard, but it really is for our benefit.
Developing the 'Fruit of the Spirit' is all about learning to become more like Jesus. If we want to develop patience, we need to look to Him. We need to be reminded that…
B. God set the example
If we are ever going to learn how to be patient with each other, we need to remember just how patient God has been with us.
Romans 2:1-4 (NIV)
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. (2) Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth.
(3) So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? (4) Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?
Paul was warning the Christians in Rome not to be judgmental hypocrites – to be patient with each other BECAUSE God was showing a great deal of patience to them. I have been forgiven much, therefore – I should forgive others and be extra patient with them.
We all know we're to be patient with others – it really is a matter of starting to practice it. Like any other characteristic, the more we do it – the better we become at it. I think it's so hard because it requires that we practice patience while we wait to develop patience... – Ironic isn't it?
Even though I see our patience with each other as a huge issue, I think there's an even larger one. It's the issue of our…
II. Patience with God
I have to admit, in the area of patience, I think that this one is the one I may struggle with most. When it comes to learning patience with others, it's usually about me having to 'put up with' what I perceive to be their shortcomings. When it comes to learning to have patience and wait on God – He's the one who's always right and it's me who has to change.
One minister put it this way, "God is in the process of completing a work in us and so often it's through hard times that we are refined and brought back to a dependence upon God. But in order for this to happen we have to be patient as He molds us. We lose our job, we battle illness, we struggle through marital problems, but if we will have patience God will bring us through to the other side."
Developing patience is hard. I could list half a dozen major things that have been on my prayer list for quite a while. Some of them have been on that list for years. I know these requests are within God's ability and will, but He keeps saying, "Wait". It brings me back to the definition, "Patience is a calm endurance based on the certain knowledge that God is in control."
Because I believe that, I know that God is in control – my ability to be patient boils down to, as it does in so many things - it boils down to...
A. A matter of trust
Do I really trust God to answer my requests 'the right way' and in the 'right time'? It's not my job to tell God how to do His job, but to patiently wait for His answer. We read this in Psalms 46:10 (NIV)...
Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.
The Psalmist reminds us that God is in control - God is God. It's kind of like when we bring our frantic prayers to God; we're so upset and we ask God to act because there's a situation here that needs His attention now! And He says, 'Calm down. I am well aware of what's going on and how I can resolve it. Remember who I am?'
James 5:7-8 (NIV)
Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. (8) You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near.
The farmer can't see what's going on beneath the soil and he has to trust that the rain will come – he has to be patient, but he knows what is coming. He's seen it before.
God has worked out situations in my life in the past even better than I could have planned – in His time. I've seen it before. God already has everything figured out, we just have to be patient and allow Him to work and wait for His answer.
Patience with God and His plans are a matter of trust. As we step out in faith, it also helps us to…
B. Learn His will
Every time I practice patience and wait on God, eventually I end up looking back and it all makes sense. (I wish I could just jump ahead a few years and see where some of this is going – but that's my impatience showing again.) My job is to trust, and to learn.
When I better understand God's will - it helps to see the 'big picture'. It helps to make 'the details' of how things will work out less important knowing there's a larger agenda; knowing God's larger plan.
Romans 12:2 (NIV)
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.
The way God works is not like anything else in our experience. God doesn't run things like the rest of the world does! God doesn't need any man's advice - His ways are so much higher than our ways! We need to seek His ways and understand - we will suffer in this world, and we won't always know why. But as we stand firm, as we wait, patiently – we will become who God needs us to be.
All the way back in the book of Genesis, we find the story of Joseph. Here was a man who was sold into slavery by his brothers. He spent years as a servant and a prisoner. He could have blamed God for all of his suffering and for letting him down, but he waited, patiently. God was preparing him to be in the right place at the right time with the exact right experiences to become a powerful leader in Egypt. Joseph was patient with God and at the end of his life he looked back and said, "God has worked it all out for good."
So What?
We've heard that 'Patience is a virtue' – but it's not a virtue possessed by any two year old. Anyone who has raised children knows that patience isn't something they're born with. Toddlers get very impatient when they have to wait for their milk, or to be picked up, or to eat – they want things instantly and waiting 30 seconds seems like an eternity to them. But it's our job as parents to teach them.
When I think about my kids - there are several reasons they need to learn patience. The first – when they get impatient, it can really get annoying. The second – if they can learn to wait, they'll be a lot happier. Third – on a regular basis, I pray three things for all my kids. I pray that they will have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I pray that God will be preparing some little boy or girl for them, even now, to have a Godly, forever marriage. And I pray that God will give them a place of service for Him. If they don't learn patience, they won't be able to fulfill God's purpose for them.
We need to learn patience for the same reasons. If we don't, we can be very annoying and hard to get along with. If we can learn to wait – we will be a lot happier in our lives. And, if we can learn patience, we will be useful for God and able to accomplish His purpose for us.
Today, when you leave here – be patient with each other. Take this outline with you and place it in the seat next to you when you drive this week. I'm serious – see if it makes a difference in how you act towards others. If you go out for lunch today – be patient with your server. You are a representative of Jesus – be very careful of how you treat others. Your attitude can either draw people to Jesus or drive them away.
You have a choice in every situation, every time you encounter an obstacle. You can get frustrated and angry – or you can choose patience and see what God does. If we want to be in step with God's Spirit, we need to develop patience. Maybe someday I'll be a lot better at patience – we'll just have to wait and see. What I do know – God can and will do amazing things, in His time!